Much Ado About Having Sexual Intercourse With Lesbians | Autostraddle

This has been a huge few days for homosexual-related basic person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual guides!

Our first portion concerns all of us via xojane, the ladies’s website oriented up by Jane Pratt (my character)

dubaihookups.com/

(i am major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this portion belongs to the “it simply happened if you ask me” function that also existed at JANE journal and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted reports of subjectively fascinating individual encounters.

The anonymous composer of this piece, who I’ll phone “Ariel,” is actually bisexual, but because she readily supplies strike tasks to the woman male partners but does not go out or typically go down on ladies, this woman is, she explains, technically, just a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She additionally means herself as “mostly right” and “direct” at different points within the narrative.) The woman reputation began, she explains, when the woman first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her school — went down on her for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it and straight away fled the scene fearing her own inability to perform this type of fantastic cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time period.

She produces:

“not surprisingly, word had gotten around that she and I had installed and therefore I’d kept the girl holding, which had the strange aftereffect of providing myself folk-heroine standing. Kelly also known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It was like some kind of motion picture conceit where hero is mistaken for a high profile and extends to ride in a limo and remain in a fancy resort for the reason that it.”

This it seems that totally exercised within her support, as she romped about in college starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds exactly who got down in the idea that I became unwilling to allow a girl touch me personally.” Post-college, she shifted towards the net, where she marketed this lady comfortable standing and sometimes met with girls for NSA intercourse.

Around the conclusion she problematically clarifies that whenever hooking up with a lady she’s maybe not interested in, she simply closes the woman sight and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] does her thing.” Often it seems like she wants females to consume the woman out just because they may be presumably much better at it than guys are. She

could

drop on it but “I’m not internet dating them, and I also don’t think I would want my personal fetish corrupted by taking care of somebody adequate to hand back.”

I wouldnot need to sit down next to Ariel on a plane, but her one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she’s only informing a genuine story of her life, and so I’m not really sure what to model of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you will be making from it, if something).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Good Guys Project
) we’ve
I hitched a Lesbian (and I also’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to get crushes on the same sorts of girl: the star basketball user, the soccer forward, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some were not.” He questioned:

What exactly is it that drew me so often to women that had been same-sex attracted? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male dream with what they certainly were undertaking during sex, and it undoubtedly had nothing at all to do with a macho perception that i really could turn a gay lady straight.

In elements, the portion (which does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded myself of your estimate from

Girls Nearby

,
which I quoted in a write-up about feminine masculinity
:

“…if we’d to produce one other generalization about lesbian taste, it would be that many all of us are powerfully keen on ladies, gay or directly, beautiful or not, just who look like they could care for by themselves.”

Mcdougal fundamentally marries a lesbian which displayed as direct, and he discovered their causing sex life are unsatisfactory. She would not give him blow jobs and didn’t enjoy entrance but joyfully accepted their choices of cunnilingus. When their sexless wedding concluded in divorce proceedings and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is seemingly caring to their ex-wife’s battle instead of marking her as misleading (as much of commenters perform):

She had result from a conservative family who does have already been seriously embarrassed to possess a homosexual child. She may have known, but performed the lady better to conceal it, possibly hoping that the woman thoughts might alter. Or she might-have-been like more than a few women I known, and only discovered her correct intimate identification after currently becoming hitched to a person.

What is redeeming concerning this essay to me that the author’s conception of his personal sex is certainly caused by without the standard masculine posturing any might anticipate in a piece such as this (the guy actually describes himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it just appears that means because males so hardly ever come up with wanting powerful, sports, powerful women with short hair; but it’s refreshing nevertheless.

I really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for telling their stories, but it is worth pointing out that both narratives appear to ride regarding idea that bedroom conduct will be the ultimate/only litmus test of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s business, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning indication” he skipped, when entrance is actually rarely an exclusively heterosexual act (it seems more likely Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with one she failed to wish becoming with, yet that knows) and slipping in love, in the end, is focused on your own snatch but it is in addition regarding the heart and it is primarily about having romantic emotions. Those romantic emotions are the thing that turns a hook-up connection into a relationship, after all.

Finally at

nerve.com

there is a nice tale straight from the pony’s throat —
My First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. In my opinion this is the first time the “very first time” series provides showcased a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth level, mcdougal confessed to her best friend that she had lesbian feelings for her, and her best friend reciprocated, in addition they proceeded to carry on a covert lesbian connection and they’re however with each other today and this woman is a grown-up in armed forces!

It appears they’ve however to get their unique commitment from the wardrobe, that is somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: Turns out this tale was actually composed before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just adopted published, thus you’ll find nothing puzzling taking place right here. This is simply straight-up nice in every single way, unequivocally.]

The focus associated with portion (which will be really pretty and nice) is on the author’s breakthrough of
exactly what lesbian sex IS
:

We’d never been down for each different, and I also was actually sure that is what we’d meant as soon as we mentioned we wished to have sex. (Now we recognize that there is even more to fucking than slurping a lady’s vagina and phoning it every day.)

She concludes:

I understand that a lot of folks differ by what virginity methods to a gay lady, but virginity is very personal, and it really depends on whom you’re inquiring. Many people might say penetration must be involved, but i do believe it is as much as the individual losing his/her virginity. Basically feel I’ve missing my virginity, subsequently goddammit, We have!

I have spent all the morning and afternoon looking at wordpress, racking your brains on exactly what point i possibly could generate about these pieces. I imagined many about the reason we’d never ever submit “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this website but can’t work through the reason that I’d fear 50 people would vow not to get back here and the remaning many-thousands people would fight with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heat death of the universe. We envisioned some body publishing “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via email and I imagined the article conference in which we might can that story and all state “NO” simultaneously.

In trying to find a time to gleam from all of these stories, i have made an effort to determine what you might think or state, and I can not, and I also need complete this post today to accelerate the entire process of myself finding-out how you feel about these stories. Yup, for the first time since starting Autostraddle, I got not a clue what you should say about something. So possibly I should only ask you to answer — what is your own response to these parts?